7 Types Of People You’ll Find On Facebook-Festival-Groups


Some while ago I – probably mistakenly – got added to a Facebook-Group for fans and visitors of some Czech Metal festival. Usually, I exit these groups without thinking much about it, but this time I had an idea. Let’s spend two weeks on there, see how it gets and then write about it!


Here are the seven types of people I met on that Facebook-Group.

Before we start out, let me tell you something about the festival this group is dedicated to… Masters Of Rock is a generic Metal festival taking place every July in the small town of Vizovice, Czech Republic and the festivals headliners couldn’t be more repetitive. I know what I’m talking about. Been there, done that. And this festival is the reason why I started to hate the Metal community.

So here we go, check out the 7 types of Festival Fans lingering around Facebook:




1. The I-Will-Post-A-Video-Of-My-Favorite-Overrated-Metal-Band-Type:


This person most likely starts his day with browsing his Facebook-feed, wishing a “Good Morning!” to everyone in his status. The person is also an avid fan of some random bad Metal band, that plays every second year on his favorite festival, and will spam your own feed with their video every morning.
Do you really want to start your day with Grave Digger? No. You don’t.



2. The Let’s-Request-Bands-To-Play-On-The-Festival Type:


Some people might think that promoters are actually reading the stuff posted in fan discussions, hoping they will book that one shitty band they love. That’s not how it works though.
They usually have very unrealistic visions of how the whole festival booking process works and that reflects on their band requests.
This person usually ends up writing “PLS, come to Czech Republic” on band’s Facebook Pages in very bad English.



3. The I-Need-To-Share-This-With-My-Lovely-Metal-Community Type:


This type of people you’ll find in fan-groups is usually female.
Enjoying a cup of coffee in a dirty merch-mug by your favorite (and bad) Metal band? Better share this in the fan-group!
Went shopping in some shitty Metal store? Better share this too and say how much you’re looking forward to the summer…
And finally… Can’t decide which pants to buy? Better ask the Metal-Community!
Well… In the end your newly bought pants will get dirty and you’ll get drunk, not remembering a single thing from the festival. But okay. You’ll look forward to the next one.



4. The I-Have-To-Rant-About-Everything Type:


I didn’t like the food at last year’s festival. Raaaaaaaaant.
Everything was expensive at last year’s festival. Raaaaaaant!
I don’t like the new festival line-up! RAAAAANT!!!
This person will find negative things about anything. Seriously.



5. The I-Took-Bad-Pictures-Now-Look-At-Them Type:


Yeah. There’s always an amateur photographer among festival fans…
This person will spam the group with shitty pictures taken during the festival in 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013 and it maybe goes all the way back to 2007 or something… Who knows.
And then everybody admires the blurry image quality, saying how great the pictures are. Sweet.



6. The I-Will-Find-You-And-Inform-You Type:


Okay, this guy actually thinks nobody else got access to the internet (excluding this ridiculous FB-Group, of course). He thinks that everybody else is living under a rock and so he takes his time to post “news” about the festival to the group… Just in case anyone missed… Well, in 99.9% of the reactions this person gets go like “Yeah, I know that, now get the fuck out”.



7. The I-Emailed-The-Band’s-Manager-But-Nothing-Happened Type:


The most WTF-Type of them all. I saved the best for last.
We have this following scenario: Some bad Metal band from the US was supposed to play at this festival last year, but didn’t due to medical reasons, or whatever. Nobody cares. The band promised to play at the festival this year, but… We know bands.

So this band most likely won’t play at some shitty Czech Metal festival and some person comes up, mailing the manager about it. Do you think the person got an answer? Of course not.
Let’s just add that this person spammed the band’s inbox before and didn’t get an answer either. Just accept the fact, that your favorite Metal band won’t play there and stop bothering other people who have lots more to do than dealing with you…



Text & Illustrations: Nyman-Sramkova

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